I Jump To “Please Can You Love Me”

We tend to look for love in others before ourselves which is our own downfall.

L-O-V-E holds exceptional feeling but can be disguised by clever deceptions, for love is simple in its definition but more-so complicated in its application. That one word with those four letters has seen us at our highs and at our lows, but even when we experience those continuous blows we still feign for it. At times, we tend to obsess over the thought of love, over the “image” of love, and over the love we receive from other people. But most times that love is a love that is not meant for us. We enjoy that rush from being held closely and kissed passionately with our lips being locked on one another’s, slowly and gently as the butterflies fly within us — we love that shit.

But what happens when this love is taken from us? When the love that we thought was our own returned back to its birth place? Some may panic, some may become depressed, and some may fall victim to being the victim. You’re lonely, maybe lost, or more-so confused because you don’t understand why your love was taken away from you. That love has been racing through your mind with continuous thoughts of, “I miss the feeling of you missing me. When will you be back?” We hope it will return but at the same time we know it won’t, so we look for security and secure forced attachment with only one purpose and one focus — getting the love that we once had. There’s never any real interest in these relationships we force ourselves in. As long as we feel some sort of love then we will feel satisfied but never complete.

We jump to, “please can you love me” because we’re afraid of being alone. The thought of it makes us tremble and breaks us down slowly inside. Hence, the reason for our “front” to the world of us being happy with someone we’ve known for two seconds. The quality of the love we’re receiving doesn’t matter; as long as it “looks” good from the outside, then there is no reason to worry about other factors. It’s hard for us to face the fact that love doesn’t start with a significant other – it starts with ourselves first. If you can’t love yourself enough to be there for yourself when you’re lonely, then how can you expect to get real love from anyone else? You will continue to seek love from other people, starting with every few months that turns into every few weeks which then turns into every few days. You’re toxic to yourself and no one can change that but you. Those temporary flings we have never do us any justice because we are never actually alone but we always feel alone which is perfectly fine. Mr. and Mrs. Right will eventually come but we cannot allow Mr. and Mrs. Wrong to get in the way of that. Take this time alone to familiarize yourself with you. We always think we know who we are but we can definitely surprise ourselves sometimes. But, we cannot jump anymore.

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