“See, you did it right. You went to college. You don’t have kids.” My reply, “Nah. We all just have different lives to live!”
Everyone has their own definition of SUCCESS. What is it anyway? We compare our realities to other people’s realities, which isn’t the best way to go about life. It’s the quickest way to make yourself feel less than or like what you’re doing isn’t important. There’s nothing that I’ve accomplished that you can’t accomplish as well. It won’t be easy, but if you want it you’ll make it happen. Instead of comparing your realities, focus on YOU and YOUR PATH.
I see this a lot with college students. Especially with my own peers. You see your classmates doing great things and it seems like they’re getting all of the great opportunities or they land an awesome job, but maybe you don’t know what you even want to do with your life yet. THAT’S OKAY! Again, focus on you! Your time will come, trust me.
…but it’s not easy.
When people tell me that I did it right, it kind of annoys me. So, I did it right because I’m doing something you could have done as well? It’s important to know that everything I have to this day is a result of hard work. Nothing was ever handed to me. Growing up in a single parent household played a role in my decision making. I immersed myself into my education because it was important to me. If I didn’t have anything else I knew I’d have that. I was a first generation college student. No one else in my immediate family has a college degree and some dropped out of high school. So yes, EDUCATION was key for me and it still is. Even though I made good grades, I didn’t get a full ride scholarship nor did I ace the ACT. But, that wasn’t going to stop me!
I have my mama to thank!
There was no way I could get everything I ever wanted. No way at all, but my mama always made sure that my brother and I were taken care of before anything else. Kudos to you, mama! I could only imagine having to do it alone. Hard work was instilled in me. My brother and I were washing our own clothes at 5 and 6, cleaning the house, and so many other things that kids now probably don’t do.
I had always wanted a laptop and my mama told me that when I graduate high school I could get one. I did! Basically, I learned the value of hard work early. I’ve been setting goals and accomplishing them since I was a child.
I learned to do without.
I didn’t get a car when I turned 16. I never had a “Sweet 16” party. I didn’t get a cell phone until I was in 7th grade and it was prepaid phone. As soon as I was able to work, I got a job. From that point, I worked towards buying my own things and I learned to save my money. I never asked my mama to buy me this and buy me that. I knew she already worked hard enough, so I learned to do without the things that most kids my age had or were able to do. I bought my first car at the age of 22 as a college senior. I did it on my own and that was a huge accomplishment.
My biggest advice to anyone who feels like they’re stagnant in life or like nothing good ever happens to them…SET GOALS! Complaining won’t get you anywhere. You have a life to live. Make the best of it.
I wrote my goals on my mirror and when I woke up each morning BAM! Good morning, goals! It’s one thing to say you’re going to do something, but write it down! You need to SEE your goal. Hold yourself accountable. Instead of putting in work, we make excuses. You know what they say about excuses, right? “They’re like assholes. Everyone has one and they all stink.” (great reference) But you get what I’m saying!
I eliminated the negativity.
*sigh* Everyone isn’t going to make it to the top with you. Boy, have I learned this. You outgrow your “friends” and even family. You learn who your true friends are. You experience hurt and betrayal. It’s all a part of life. Everything I’ve went through, I turned it into a learning experience.
Eliminate the following:
- toxic relationships
- people with no productivity
I said all that to say this…
So, when you say I did it right, what do you mean? What’s stopping you from living out your definition of success? Never compare your reality to someone else’s. They’re THEM and you’re YOU. I still have a life to live and goals to reach, peace!